Half of an old elm tree(when i say half i mean i want a…

half of an old elm tree(when i say half i mean i want a straight line down the middle of the tree). i want it to have long squiggly branches, multiple branches like 8 with leaves, on separate branches i want a pair of adidas wrestling shoes(adidas adiZero Varner Style Code:DA9891 White/Vegas Gold/Gum) and nike air max 95 grey make sure they are tied on the branch , for under the armpit to the middle of my chest